Em Beihold certainly doesn’t mince words about how she’s feeling. The 25-year-old’s musings about anxiety, depression, and struggling to find positivity are wrapped up in a sweet sound that gives her songs a rough edge to their polish. As she gradually learns to harness her happiness, Beihold is documenting her mental health journey in the form of catchy and relatable pop.

Singer-songwriter Em Beihold has a very casual and candid way of discussing topics that would make most people uneasy. When asked what her routine is before a performance, she casually discusses vocal warmups, yoga, and having “some sort of panic attack.” 

Ever since releasing her debut EP Infrared in 2017, she’s been sharing her unfiltered thoughts without hesitation in a diary-like manner. “As an artist, if I’m going to be anything, it’s going to be honest and blunt and true and that will always remain,” Beihold says. “I’ve never been hesitant to be vulnerable because that’s the reason I started writing in the first place.”

Her worries and insecurities have been laid bare for the public to hear with lines like “do you ever get a little bit tired of life? Like you’re not really happy but you don’t wanna die.” The darker nature of her lyrics are juxtaposed with sugary sweet vocal and sonic experiences that makes you do a double-take. 

Songwriting has been a cathartic avenue for the Los Angeles native, and has helped to relinquish the feelings she’s had about mental health struggles. Creating the single “Maybe Life is Good” was “like a life vest out of depression” for the singer-songwriter. While writing the single, she wasn’t actually feeling the optimistic attitude the song portrays, but Beihold used the process as a “manifesting of more positivity.” Adopting a positive outlook has been a gradual and relatively new experience.

Last year was a dark period as she struggled with a long depressive episode and writer’s block. Even though songwriting is how she expresses so many of the tough times she’s had with her mental health, it was also one way anxiety started to form. 

“By pushing myself so hard I just completely put this wall up between me and creativity,” Beihold explains. She has learned to not push herself so much and accept that songwriting takes time. There were over 100 writing sessions that she attended and nothing came to fruition. Given the personal nature of her lyrics, it’s hard to imagine anyone but Beihold being the writer, and the anxiety from not being as prolific as she wanted to caused her to eventually take a break last year 

“When you’re feeling anxiety or sadness, it’s not bad – it’s human. You have to accept the feelings, rather than run from them,” Beihold says. Eventually she started to accept that “the truth is that life is good and bad existing at the same time and that’s okay,” but the acceptance was gradual and involved dedicating herself to a healthy lifestyle both physically and mentally. Therapy, family, friends, and being more physically active helped pull her out of the long depressive episode she endured in 2023. 

This acceptance of realistic ups and downs coincides with a newfound happiness that Beihold has found this year. She’s learning to maintain her happiness while balancing a healthy mental state and a music career. This year is dedicated to nurturing a positive outlook, and acknowledging that happiness can bloom outside of music has been an important development for an artist whose feelings are so intertwined with her job and creative output.

Looking forward with a more positive mindset, Beihold is now more equipped to deal with the trials and tribulations of being an indie artist in today’s musical landscape by accepting that sometimes songs can take time to build.

“I just want to be really proud of what I’m doing,” she says, adding that she’s hoping to release a full-length album in the next few years. Lately she’s been listening to artist such as Lorde, Florence and the Machine, and Regina Spector, and envisions that the album will have a singer-songwriter route. There’s one thing in particular that the album will have. “You can expect the stark honesty,” she says.